Every so often, the powers that be in the world of marketing decide that some product just isn't worth the time and effort anymore. Maybe it costs too much to produce, maybe sales are way down, maybe someone thought mixing sirloin and butterscotch on potato chips was a good idea and the public disagreed. Here's our tribute to six such culinary delights ... may they rest in peace
1. Crystal Pepsi
This must have seemed like the most brilliant marketing ploy of all time. It was Pepsi, but you could see through it. It came at a time when people were trying to be health-conscious and Pepsi figured making their drink look clean and pure would convince you it was clean and pure.
As we all know, Crystal Pepsi failed miserably, but that doesn't change the fact that it was no stupider than about 100 other ideas soft drink companies have every year. They went on to make Pepsi Blue -- huh?
2. The McRib 
The most popular semi-regular food item on the McDonald's menu, people love this thing so much that when it does make reappearances, they go on tour to keep eating it in every city it pops up.
Basically a formed meat patty shaped to look like ribs, the McRib is pork on a bun with barbecue sauce on it that drives people crazy. It is pretty tasty though.
3. Purplesaurus Rex Kool-Aid
Kool Aid is basically sugar, water and citric acid, but Purplesaurus Rex managed to take that to awesome heights by mixing lemonade and grape in the same packet. And then they took it away from us in its prime. There's something kind of sad about mixing lemon and grape on your own in an effort to re-create the magic.
4. Cappuccino Gum
Trident dropped a bomb a few years back when they released cappuccino-flavored gum. Traditionally people chew gum to freshen their breath in some way, which is the opposite of what coffee does. May as well have made "bottom of the ashtray" gum and hoped for the best.
Had they called it Choco-Cream Delight or some such, it'd probably still be here today.
5. 3-D Doritos
You could make the argument that all food is already 3-D, but that's narrow minded. 3-D Doritos were even more 3-D than 3-D. Not quite 4-D, but it was something.
Basically they were just poofy Doritos, which meant you got fewer in a bag and paid for a lot more air. But that air spread out the deliciousness and that was the point. Plus, you shouldn't eat a whole bag of Doritos anyway.
6. Keebler Magic Middles 
Possibly the best cookie in the history of cookies, Magic Middles were bulgey cookie pockets filled with chocolate goo.
Our research hasn't been able to find even a guess as to why these cookies were discontinued, so we're forced to assume their awesomeness was making everything else Keebler made look bad.
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