You are mine telling the Elephant.
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What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait, better question, why is she out of the kitchen!?
Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, shes already been told twice.
Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
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Modified Madam La Negra with horns, tattoos, scarification, piercings and a split tongue
La Negra is a poster girl for modified madams. She has horns, tattoos, scarification, piercings and a split tongue. But, despite her appearance, the Argentinian mother-of-one meets with little disapproval from parents at the school gates and says she ‘couldn’t care less’ what others think of her freaky fetish.
Svetlana Pankratova owns the longest legs in the world. Her pins stretch to a lengthy 132cm. Mr Pingping, the world’s smallest man pictured with Svetlana above, barely came up to Ms Pankratova’s knees at this photoshoot held to mark the launch of the new Guinness Book of World Records.
Jill Drake, from Tenterden, Kent holds the world record for the loudest scream in the world. She only realised that she could scream so loudly when she visited the Millennium Dome where her yell got measured and she was suprised to find out that her screams were 129 decibels – louder than anyone else on earth.
Norma Stitz née Annie Hawkins-Turner of Georgia, is the proud possessor of the huge breasts pictured above with each boob weighing about 28 lbs. In 1999, the Guinness Book of World Records named her as the woman with the world’s largest natural breasts and as owning the biggest bra ever made.
Florence Griffith Joyner, nicknamed FloJo, has held the women’s world record at 100 meters since July 16, 1988. That day she clocked a time of 10.49 seconds officially making her the owner of the fastest set of pins on earth!
1. Vocalize your enjoyment! Listening to a woman bellow in ecstasy “I’m … COOOOOOOMING!” is as good, if not better, than the sex itself.
2. ... but don’t forget that other people in house/apartment nearby will hear you, especially if he is awkward about that sort of thing.
3. NO. TEETH. (What are you, eighteen? You should know that by now, really.)
4. Offering to let him come on your face will make his friggin‘ day. If that’s too porn-y for you, let him come on your chest instead.
5. That slow, gentle, tender sex you’re having? It’s probably for your benefit, not his. “Guys love the express train 90 percent of the time, so get off the local!” Maybe just be clear that there should be a fast sex/slow sex balance in the relationship, lest he think you like the jackhammering as much as he does.
6. Men don’t only love penis massages—they love back and shoulder massages, too. Making him come then rolling him over and mounting his butt to administer a back massage is a lovely way to bring on A Post-Coital Man Nap.
7. Wait to hop in the shower and wash all that dirty, dirty sex off. “Come back to bed after you’re done warding off a UTI in the loo when we’re finished—there’s nothing like savoring the moment.” Aww, they get lonely when we leave them in bed by themselves!
8. Boys have nipples, too, and sometimes, they can be very sensitive. His junk isn’t the only place he wants you to kiss!
9. Assume your guy’s anus is feeling neglected, too. “Don’t forget that some guys like a pinkie in the ass.” He just might be too embarrassed to ask for it, so let your fingers wander and see what happens.
10. Get out of the bedroom. “Women forget to have sex anywhere other than in bed without guidance.” I think this means he likes to do it in the shower?
Obese People are Scary - Scary Obese people
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This dude is doing his best to be ready for the zombie apocalypse, but I somehow doubt that he can aim very well without his stubby little arms getting in the way. That won’t be an issue for long though, as he will be making up for all the lack of exercise when he has six hundred undead chasing his fat ass down.
Gothopotamus’s cousin…. and she ain’t happy ’bout ya’ll making fun of her relatives.
Speaking about relatives, here we have a couple of family photos. Someone forgot to water this family tree.
Why so angry?
Is it because your parents didn’t love you when you where a baby, or is it because you ate them?
Dear god, I hope you are just fat and not pregnant. Actually, I seriously doubt that anyone would get that close to you. But I’m sure that you’re a beautiful person on the inside. lol
You have problem expressing your feelings, don’t you?
On the following pictures you can see women who want something to say! It seems that they are in the very personal, how do I say… You know what I mean. But still… Think again!
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