1. Argue with everybody.
2. Touch the paintings at the museum.
3. Get hysterical.
4. Threaten law suits.
5. Insinuate, implicate and insist.
6. If you got it, flaunt it.
7. Eat produce at the grocery store and don't pay for it.
8. Gamble with the rent money.
9. Record over a borrowed vcr tape
10. Tell people that they are in your will, even if they aren't.
11. Don't get caught.
12. Stay directly in front or behine fire trucks and ambulances.
13. When giving out directions, leave out a turn or two.
14. Don't make up your mind.
15. Improve your posture by walking with your nose in the air.
16. Remind people who lose their job that they should work harder.
17. Talk with your mouth full.
18. Accuse, confuse and refuse.
19. Comment on the weight gain of others.
20. Adjust your nuts whenever you want.
21. Keep a pile of wisecracks for tense and serious situations.
22. Answer a question with a question.
23. See what it takes for the lifeguard to blow the whistle.
24. Don't give to charities unless you get something back.
25. Add the straw that breaks the camels back.
26. Clean your finger nails at the dinner table.
27. Tell people what they think they wanna hear.
28. Notice good ideas and pass them on as your own.
29. Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner or hotel reservations.
30. Don't volunteer for the back seat and never take the middle one.
31. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
32. Never do anything until you have been asked twice.
33. Put off until tomorrow whatever you can do the day after tomorrow.
34. Spot test "Wet Paint" signs.
35. Go up on the down escalator and vice versa.
36. Dont shower after a hard workout.
37. Lie about your age.
38. Change channels every two seconds
39. Develop at least 3 strategies for cutting if front of a
40. Underline in other peoples books.
41. Slurp your soup.
42. If you can't think of something nice, say something nasty.
43. Be judgmental.
44. Announce when your going to the bathroom.
45. Read over peoples shoulders on the bus.
46. Ignore deadlines.
47. Revenge is sweet... so get some.
48. Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while your at it, leave the cap off.
49. Curse the umpire at a Little League game.
50. When it says "Reserved Parking" that means you.
51. Take the labels off of unopened cans.
52. Cover up your mistakes and pass the blame.
53. Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one that you want.
54. Borrow handkerchiefs to blow your nose.
55. When your done with your gum, stick it under the chair.
56. If you do something nice, make sure everyone knows about it.
57. Bribe little kids... cause they're easy!
58. Put a rude message on someone elses answering machine.
59. Measure people by their money and the clothes they wear.
60. Be ambiguous, it lets you work both sides of the issue.
61. Leave your underwear in the sink.
62. Chew other peoples pencils.
63. Support the death penalty for parking tickets.
64. Get a backseat drivers license.
65. Dish it out, but don't take it.
66. Be a perfectionist in absolutely everything.
67. Apologize a lot, but don't change.
68. Change the rules to suit your needs.
69. Put your cigarette out in planters.
70. Wear a shirt thats says 'Fuck You' or to that affect.
71. Pull the covers over to your side.
72. Eat cookies or crackers in bed.
73. Let doors slam behind you ? in people's faces.
74. Repeat yourself.
75. Repeat yourself.
76. Tell your kids 'How it was..' back when you were a kid.
77. Vividly describe a hysterectomy to your date before ordering dinner.
78. Scribble your signature on important documents.
79. Use the whole can of starter fluid on the charcoal.
80. Put things back where they don't belong.
81. Take a colicky baby to the movies.
82. Have belching contests in restaurants.
83. Make the same mistake twice.
84. Pee in the swimming pool.
85. Ride on the shoulder un you pass all the jammed traffic, and then cut in.
86. Wear a large hat to the movies.
87. Always have an ulterior motive.
88. Always take the biggest piece.
89. Forget the pooper scooper when walking your dog.
90. Take cheap shots.
91. Take forever to find a word in Scrabble.
92. Cause gridlock.
93. Get up on the wrong side of bed.
94. Change your mind.
95. Glue a chip on your shoulder.
96. Put salt in sugar containers.
97. Blow out other peoples birthday candles.
98. Don't refill the ice cube tray.
99. Ask people what they paid for their clothes.
100. Cut off people in the middle of their sentences.
101. Practice pulling the wool over people's faces.
Everyone's had that moment where they looked at themselves in the mirror wasted and thought, "Jesus Christ, have I always been this ugly?" Then they wake up the next morning and look at themselves in the mirror and it's only a minor improvement so they start to get worried. After eating Burger King, an entire box of spaghetti and Oreo's they decide to look at themselves in the mirror one more time around 8:00 pm and they recognize themselves again. After that they usually crawl back into bed and wonder why it's wet and smells like urine.
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Latest short hairstyles for short hair in 2010
In 2010 the trendiest haircuts are the short hairstyles with shiny hair.So if you want a new trendy haircuts try one of these sparkling short hairucts for 2010.The short hair cut is as fashionable as ever before and ladies are taking the plunge and wearing ultra- short locks.In this part we present you some sparkling trendy short haircuts for 2010:
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Bad tattoos, we see them everywhere. What possesses a person to get a bad tattoo? Is there a book somewhere of bad tattoo ideas?
Seems to me, there are simply too many tattoos that have gone wrong. Sure, tattoo removal can get rid of these, but tattoo removal is no laughing matter. It can be painful and quite expensive to have a tattoo removed.
Laser tattoo removal can cost close to $1000 per visit with many bad tattoos needing up to TEN sessions to have that really bad tattoo removed! And guess what else? There is no guarantee that laser tattoo removal will actually remove your bad tattoo - even if it is funny!
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For a price you can have anyone in the audience insulted. The better the $$ the better the insult!
* Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...
* Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
* I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.
* You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...
* Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
* Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
* Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
* Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.
* You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder
* All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.
* I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't
* count that high.
* You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.
* He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe
* Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
* If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!
* You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.
* You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!
* I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
* Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special
* effort today?
* Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?
* Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse
* advice...
* I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at
* Cucumber college.
* Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet
* somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
* I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
* Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
* You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!
* I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of
* shock.
* Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!
* I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'Tags:
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